3. ‘Shadow’ qualities
The founder of analytical psychology Carl Gustav Jung believed that each of us has a ‘shadow’ – a hidden part of the personality, which we do not want to recognise. We are ashamed of it and wish we didn’t have it.
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When we sense our ‘shadow’ qualities in another person, it becomes a trigger for us to dislike them. But if we begin to notice similar subconscious reactions that others around us elicit in us, we can better understand ourselves.
4. Suspicion and jealousy
When we encounter overly kind, polite and pleasant people, we may be suspicious of them and question the sincerity of their actions. Naturally, this prevents us from bonding with them.
If you are annoyed by a person who is too nice for everyone else to like, there can be two explanations. The first is that you are perceptive and see his true intentions while others perceive him superficially. The second is that you are jealous. It can be hard to admit it, but when we meet someone who is popular, jokes funny and easy to get along with others, we can get very annoyed.
When you’re the only one in the company who doesn’t like the new acquaintance, it’s easy to feel lonely and anxious. It can make you doubt your own ability to judge others, and it also causes insecurity.
To cope with these feelings, it’s important to recognise the fact that everyone is different and cannot like each other by default. When we accept our individuality, we also accept the uniqueness of others – with all their quirks.
Sure, we can avoid the people and situations that become triggers for our irritation. But in the long run, it’s much better to figure out why they cause us to react the way they do and work through our feelings honestly.
