Avoid criticism in the presence of children
Never criticise each other in front of the children. If you have disagreements, discuss them in private. For example, mum may be unhappy that dad lets the children watch cartoons until late at night. Instead of voicing your disagreement in front of the children, wait until they go to bed before having a calm conversation.
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Limit the influence of imposed ideals
Don’t let outside sources dictate how your family relationships should be. Remember that every family is unique. A picture on the internet or an advert does not reflect reality. Instead of striving to copy these ideal scenarios, discuss what is realistically right for you. It is more valuable to keep the relationship natural and focused on your family’s capabilities.
Make time for each other
It’s important to make time not only for your children, but also for your partner. When parents feel happy in a relationship, it creates a stable and positive family atmosphere and removes the ground for competition between mum and dad.
For example, make a rule that every Sunday you will spend time alone together while the kids are at grandma’s or with a babysitter. It could simply be dinner at a favourite restaurant, a session at the cinema or a walk in the park. It’s important that the time is all about you, with no discussion of children’s problems or household chores. Such dates help keep the spark alive in the relationship and give you a break from the role of parents.
When partners spend time together and strengthen their relationship, they begin to appreciate and respect each other’s efforts more. Spouses realise that they each make a meaningful contribution to the upbringing and care of the children. This allows them to work as a team instead of being competitors.
And remember: competition breeds insecure children. This is perhaps the most obvious damaging effect of the mum vs dad phenomenon. Regardless of how parents divide responsibilities and roles, your child needs to see that mum and dad respect and love each other and are always on the same side. This creates a pattern of healthy relationships and teaches your child the importance of understanding and unity in the family.
